Touches You

Thanks for the memories!

To all those who have watched it: I hope you enjoyed it as much as I do.

what a terribly boring film. I'm sorry but this is absolutely not deserving of best picture and will be forgotten quickly. Entertaining and engaging cinema? No. Nothing performances with flat faces and mistaking silence for subtlety.

When Michael Corben, along with the rest of his high-school French class, set out for a trip to France, he runs headlong into international intrigue: Agent Michael Corbin has just been disposed of by the evil forces of Augustus Steranko.When it's learnt that Michael Corbin is alive and well, and still on his way to France, he's besieged by both the good guys and the bad guys.British Intelligence outfits him with a series of James-Bond-like gizmos, and Steranko sends more would-be assassins after him...Beating storm breaker by a good few years, Teen Agent (as it was called here in England) is one of those movies that you have fond memories of when you were younger, but seeing the film without rose coloured spectacles leave a lot to be desired.Greico is one real creepy guy in this, and for the first ten or so minutes, i couldn't avert my eyes from the fact that he was wearing make up and had perfectly plucked eyebrows.But as the film goes on, he becomes more likable, and the film becomes a lot more fun too. The most original thing about this Bond Homage is the fact that they crucify the image of the suave British agent by having Daltry playing a top spy and getting killed within seconds.Other than this, its confusing conversations, annoying teachers who come good in the end, sub Bond gadgets, dastardly villains, Linda Hunt as a kick ass assassin.And a woman with a scorpion down her back dancing to Kylie and then getting blown up.It's sometimes genius, yet sometimes so predictable and assuming the audience will rely on nudge nudge wink wink comments, it becomes too frustrating.It's fluffy stuff, with a violent edge, that ends all to quickly, but it has it's moments.

A stupid but pretty entertaining James Bond-type action flick, this features comedy a lot more than it does action. There were enough funny lines in the comedy to make it a keeper in my collection for awhile. Like the Bond movies, there were also a good number of clever gadgets.The story is preposterous, so you can't take any of it seriously.There is too much macho baloney from the young hero in here, played by Richard Grieco, not a household name but a decent actor. Speaking of acting, Robin Bartlett, who plays the French teacher, overacts terrible and is just plain annoying. It's no wonder we've never heard her name before.Action scenes range from pretty good to incredibly stupid.

This is, simply put, one of the worst movies I've ever seen, and I've seen quite a few bad movies. It's not just that smarmy idiot Richard Grieco, or the massive plot holes, or the incomprehensible, unbelievable plot, it's the whole combination of massive failures that make this movie so terrible. Now, I realize that this is a teen "action-comedy" of sorts, and it's plot is meant to be a piece of escapist fiction, and I went into this without any kind of bias. I expected fantastic settings, over-the-top villians, and unbelievable gadgets. It failed me at every turn, but the biggest problem was simply how stupid it was. Nothing was believable, nothing. For example, what high school would let you come to the graduation ceremony, call your name, and hand you a diploma, only to have said diploma tell you that you failed to graduate? I don't know any school, even a public school, that would be so sadistic. To put it in a few words, this movie sucks.

I dare anyone and I do mean ANYONE to watch this movie and tell me that they did not enjoy it. Grieco may have had a dud or two in his career, but he knocked this one out of the park. Gabrielle Anwar is ridiculously hot in this flick, and everyone involved gives career performances. Grieco's Michael Corben is up there with Olivier's Hamlet. That sounds stupid. I have overstated my point, but answer me this, would you rather see Grieco or Olivier as MICHAEL CORBEN: french club reject. Whoever said sir Larry is a liar. Trust me, this baby ROCKS. Sure no one involved looks like high school students, but that's okay. It's a movie that isn't trying to take itself seriously so it's cool.Seriously, see this movie and you will not be sorry. The experienced will be enhanced if you have a martini or two (but only if you're legal!)while you watch, but that is my only advice.If Looks Could Kill? Indeed, I believe they can.