What a waste of my time!!!

I gave it a 7.5 out of 10

Fantastic!

Excellent characters with emotional depth. My wife, daughter and granddaughter all enjoyed it...and me, too! Very good movie! You won't be disappointed.

Deadly and enigmatic mute vampiress Countess Irina Karlstein (the sumptuous Lina Romay at her most bold, expressive, and uninhibited) lives a tragic life of depressing solitude and emotional detachment due to the fact that she feeds on her victims at the moment of orgasm.Jess Franco not only does his customary adept job of crafting a strong and sensual, yet still brooding and melancholy atmosphere as well as astutely captures the wrenching loneliness of Irina's wretched plight, but also delivers plenty of tasty bare distaff flesh and oodles of unflinchingly raw'n'explicit sexuality that encompasses everything from fellatio to lesbianism to even bondage and discipline. Better still, Romay's singularly smoldering presence really keeps this movie humming: Walking through a mist-shrouded forest clad in a belt, flowing open cape, and long black leather boots, going full-throttle for several incredibly hot and graphic sex scenes (her solo masturbation set piece in particular rates as a definite arousing highlight), and never utterly a single word, but conveying a vivid world of unbearable sadness through her downcast eyes alone, Romay proves to be thoroughly mesmerizing from start to finish. Unfolding at a hypnotically deliberate pace, with often striking widescreen cinematography, a lush and elegant score by Daniel White, and welcome appearances by Franco regulars James Taylor, Alice Arno, and Monica Swinn, this typically outré Franco affair proves to be oddly affecting and captivating in its very unabashed strangeness.

There's no question that Franco was inept in many ways, starting with some unbelievably dumb stories. Not what the story is about but how, usually awkward, wooden, unnatural in anything that resembles life. Still, he led a pretty admirable life, shooting films, composing music, traveling around sunny locales, meeting and undressing some pretty women with his camera. I can think of ways much worse to spend my time on earth.And even more appealing to me, there's something to be said about his mentality towards films, probably immersed whilst doing it but quickly moving on, unattached. It's freeing to see. So when all is said, you have probably decided what use you have for any of these films. This isn't one of his best, far from it actually. For me, that's Eugenie De Sade and Vampyros. I rate it low, because it is bad in all the parts, even the sex which is neither erotic nor dangerous as he probably thought. What he explains about the 'world of pleasure' are childish notions.Still, what it is has its attractive aura. The very loose structure, a woman simply walks around having sex, the languid locations in Madeira, the vapid look on Lina Romay's face as she glides unattached in the nude, the overall air of casual commitment to dumb (as in inarticulate) passion. Oh, he's still the dull man from interviews but this improvised void endears. It's like we're on vacation, leisurely pacing around as we do some trivial stuff (shooting a softcore film) in order to be far from home.

Personally, I am a huge fan of Jess Franco, who has enriched the world of Eurohorror/Exploitation by a vast variety of films, including masterpieces such as "Gritos En La Noche", ("The Awful Dr. Orloff", 1962) and Miss Muerte" ("The Diabolical Dr. Z", 1966), a vast amount of entertaining sleaze, as well as big-time stinkers (such as "Sadomania"). With a repertoire of over 190 films, Franco must be the most prolific Exploitation director of all-time; and while I can understand those who do not share my admiration for the Spanish Trash-deity, one has to give it to Franco that even his lesser films always have a certain weird style, which is almost impossible not to like for a cult-cinema fan. Take this film, for example: "Les Avaleuses" (aka. "Female Vampire"/"Bare Breasted Countess"/"Erotikill") of 1973 is, without any doubt, an incredibly nonsensical film that is more Porn than it is Horror and ranges among the most shamelessly plot-less Euro-Exploitation features ever produced. And yet I cannot claim I didn't enjoy it.The main attraction is Franco's Nr. 1 muse (and real-life wife) the stunning Lina Romay. Sexy Lina plays Countess Irina Karlstein, a female vampire who walks around wearing only a cape and a belt, who kills her victims (of both sexes) during sex, and who does not limit herself to sucking blood exclusively. Then there's also a weird-looking pathologist (played by director Franco) who desperately tries to convince the police that the mutilated corpse are victims of a vampire, not a madman... This may not sound like a proper plot-description, but fact is that this confused little film does not really have a proper plot. About 90 per cent of the film are soft-core porn (or hard-core porn, depending on which version you see), sleaze, and shots of beautiful Lina Romay walking naked through the forest. The 'Horror' is quite ridiculous, and the dialogue ranges among the most nonsensical things ever written. Lina Romay's leading character is mute, but her communicating through body language is quite welcome! There is also a character named Professor Orloff (is it Franco's own Dr. Orloff?) who only talks truly bizarre nonsense. The rest of the cast includes Eurocult regular Jack Taylor (who was in many Franco films, and also starred in many other Spanish Horror productions including many films in which he played alongside the late Paul Naschy), as well as the weird-looking Franco-flick bit-part-player Luis Barboo.Basically, this film is recommendable for two reasons, the first and most convicting one being Lina Romay who walks around naked for almost the entire film. The second reason is that it is a Jess Franco film, and therefore delivers the nonsensical plot in a particular, stylish manner. It is obvious that Franco didn't even bother about the plot, and he certainly doesn't give a crap about people nagging about the lack of it. In typical Franco-fashion, the film is atmospheric, nicely shot in beautiful locations and accompanied by a nice score. The plot may be almost non-existent, and the film may be a mere repetition of sleazy sequences - one still doesn't get bored. The sequences shot in the car, by the way, are a nice tribute to Tod Browning's 1931 "Dracula" with Bela Lugosi.Overall, I can only recommend "Female Vampire" to my fellow enthusiastic fans of Jess Franco. To anybody not familiar with Franco, I would recommend to check out his brilliant early works, such as "The Awful Dr. Orloff", "The Diabolical Dr. Z" or "Venus in Furs" and skip this one. While it does range in the lesser half of his repertoire, it isn't the worst film he has ever made, though. Once asked about the reason for film-making, Franco replied: "Showing the female body naked." How can one not appreciate such honesty?

A vampire countess and her various sexual conquests, drains the life force from her victims of passion. Countess Irina Karlstein(Lina Romay)often feeds from her male suitors as they are ejaculating! The film opens the possibility of the vampire countess and a proposed rendezvous with a poet named Baron Von Rathony(Jack Taylor)..Franco seems to be building to this meeting(..perhaps a love affair is in the future for these two)as Rathony often hears the fluttering of bat wings in the sky from the patio of his palatial cottage overlooking a sea.Despite what the title says, this flick doesn't follow the usual vampire traits..there isn't bloodletting(..in the typical sense, although there's a scene of whipping that sheds little cuts of blood)and Lina certainly doesn't look like your usual member of the undead.Lina dives in no-holds-barred, willing to bend over backwards for director Franco as she is pretty much naked the entire film having graphic sexual sequences with men and women often rather explicitly. To be honest, the film is less a horror film than a porno flick. Franco's camera ravishes Lina's body, even closing in on Romay's vagina as she spreads her legs teasingly. Whether writhing in passion on her bed(..making good use of her bed post)or bathing with erotic bliss in a bathtub of bloody water, Lina certainly is uninhibited and willing to go the distance. Not shy either is Taylor and other male actors unafraid to show their naughty bits as well. Not for the easily offended. As expected, the film often features jazz as background music often removing the slightest bit of tension(..although, I feel his films often are so coldly presented one feels little tension to begin with). The procedural with detective Franco on the case to prove Lina's involvement with the vampire-type homicides seems uninspired. My favorite scene has Lina's car driving around curves with this silver bat ornament adorning her car hood with bat wings that flap with the wind.My rating is more towards it as a horror film. I think it merely uses the idea of a vampire using lust as her way of surviving. I do think it'll work for those seeking other forms of entertainment.