Yawn. Poorly Filmed Snooze Fest.

At first rather annoying in its heavy emphasis on reenactments, this movie ultimately proves fascinating, simply because the complicated, highly dramatic tale it tells still almost defies belief.

The first must-see film of the year.

There's no way I can possibly love it entirely but I just think its ridiculously bad, but enjoyable at the same time.

Like many reviewers on this film I first saw "Ladies and Gentlemen, the Fabulous Stains" on late night cable in the mid 80's. I loved the music as I was just digging Punk and getting into New Wave. The more adult themes went over my head but I got the gist - the conflict between men and women in the music business and how media can build up and tear down stars.I had wanted to see the film again but until 2008 it was still only available if it were shown on TV or if someone had a copy from a previous TV showing. The studio finally released a DVD of a restored print and I fell in love with it all over again.Diane Lane, 15 at the time, plays the leader of The Stains, "Third Degree" Burns. Laura Dern, 13 at the time, plays Third Degree's cousin and bassist "Peg". The British punk band The Stains hang out on tour with is made up of members of the Sex Pistols and The Clash and fronted by Ray Winstone. Fee Waybill of The Tubes plays a hasbeen metal band singer. Christine Lahti, who plays Lane's Aunt and Dern's mother, kills in the two short scenes she's in. Other notable cast members are David Clennon, Cynthia Sikes, Elizabeth Daily, and an uncredited Brent Spiner. The film was directed by Lou Adler who had directed "Up in Smoke" and was written by Nancy Dowd who had written "Slap Shot".Diane Lane shows once again her raw untrained talent in only her 3rd film at the time. Laura Dern also looks natural in her role. Along with Lahti, Waybill also turns in a great performance.The film does a good job of showing one part of the rough and tumble music business before the MTV era. It's rough around the edges with some cringe worthy scenes and stiff dialog but overall it makes its gritty point about the nature of show business and the media and about gender roles. The happy ending that was filmed 2 years after initial filming fits in that it reminded me of the rise of the group "The Go-Go's" They had started in the punk scene and moved into the new MTV scene and got the same make over "The Stains" get in the final scene.The film has reached cult status not only from the late night cable showings and lack of a previous home release but also because it influenced future women singers most notably Courtney Love.As noted before the film is jagged but Lou Adler made sure the music was as polished as possible to be heard. That of course is what is important - the music and the message.*Side Note* If you are an "Old Fart" now and want to reminisce about the film and the time of the story, listen to the commentary by Diane Lane and Laura Dern on the DVD. They were a bonus and added to the value of the disc.

Like Eve in "All About Eve", Corrine "3rd Degree" Burns is on a mission to stardom. She's not especially talented, but she's on fire with rage, rebellion, a cunning desire and a sense of meta-betrayal that strikes a chord in her fellow teen girls.She parlays a television interview into a club gig with her band of two cousins and herself, two rehearsals under their belt and a trunk full of costumes. The girls can barely play and the cousins leave the stage in defeat. Corrine (Diane Lane) doesn't however. She plays the audience and everyone else as she switches personae and stances. She seems to reveal herself as the young vulnerable but twice in the pic, - in opening herself up to singer Billy, (Ray Winstone) of headlining band the "Looters" and to her agent and quickly regretting returns to her hard-edged persona.The character comes alive in Lane's hands and this lifts this movie out of the general mass of rock movies. The cast lends solid support and it helps that all the musicians are played by musicians. The music is right too.

Ah, punk rock, how it came, saw, went, came back again, and maybe another time, and is now in so many varieties that one could just spend an entire semester in college studying all of the bands that have come from the early to mid 70s and beyond. Ladies and Gentlemen, the Fabulous Stains, is a satirical document of the punk rock scene, but it works better as just flat-out punk and/or new-wave rock than as satire. The writer tries for a Network approach: the media latches on to The Fabulous Stains, a trio girl group started by Corrine Burns (aka Third-Degree Burns) with her sister and cousin, who aren't very talented but have Corrine as their wont-take-no-s*** lead singer with crazy hair and a "I don't put out" slogan while wearing skimpy clothes.Because apparently every single punk girl watches the nightly news and believes every single word they say, suddenly the Stains have a HUGE fan-base of lemming-like girls who latch onto every word of their song "Waste my time" and, soon after, their rip-off cover of the Looters' "The Professionals", the real Brit punk rock group touring as the lead group following (original headliner) aging rock group's bitter demise. The script takes the point of view that it's probably as much the audience's fault, if not more-so, than the exploitation by the media, which was not uncommon to happen to certain bands (it even happened to the Sex Pistols to a degree, though the bulk of hype came about after they broke up). This part is clever but also not clever by half; we've seen this quick rise-and-fall story before and there's not a whole lot that's fresh that's brought to the table creatively, except for the cynical aspect that if you look pretty and bad and don't give a bleep you'll make it with a rip-off single that most of the audience doesn't understand anyway.And yet for whatever flaws the film might have director Lou Adler aptly displays, amusingly and with a deft skill at capturing young-and-old rocker angst, life in the ever changing rock scene and specifically punk rock. While it's a given a band will be kick-ass if two members of the Pistols and Paul Simonen of the Clash are in it, as they are in the Looters with a young Ray Winstone as ornery front-man (one of his most compelling performances as a "tough" guy), it will have some punk rock cred. But very young Diane Lane and even younger Laura Dern bring some credibility of their own, and open up another sight for aficionados of the attitude and mood of punk rock, much like the attitude and mood of film-noir more than a real genre, is punk rock for girls. Inspiration for the likes of the Go-Go's can be seen here as "birds" as Winstone says can rock as hard, or just with enough spirit, while also not being too full of crap.That's the interesting thing too in Fabulous Stains, what makes it more interesting as a punk rock flick than a satire: when it's at its best, like Suburbia did as well, we get a personal and sad look at wayward youth with nothing else but music, be that they can't read like Winstone's Billy or just have a parent that's dead like Corrine's father ("Died in war, beep, got lot of money, beep"). It's a fine little nugget of music/movie lore.

Ladies & Gentlemen, the Fabulous Stains may not be the best film to come out of it's time.. but it certainly is not the worst. Many fans of this film probably know it best from when it aired on VH1 a few years back. Most "film buffs" probably have not even heard of it! It is a "fun" film, nothing too deep.. If you've ever considered yourself to be "punk rock" then you would probably enjoy this film. A few former Sex Pistols have roles in Ladies and Gentlemen, the Fabulous Stains. If you get a chance to see this movie I recommend it, but don't expect a masterpiece. It's just a film every post-punk should see. And always remember, The Stains do NOT put out!