Just perfect...

At first rather annoying in its heavy emphasis on reenactments, this movie ultimately proves fascinating, simply because the complicated, highly dramatic tale it tells still almost defies belief.

Story: It's very simple but honestly that is fine.

The film's masterful storytelling did its job. The message was clear. No need to overdo.

People got together, thought of the concept, wrote a script (assumedly) made of words, hired and fed a crew, filmed some stuff, edited together said stuff, and unleashed the product onto the world. If you've ever been to the Disney World attraction, and your favorite part was the somber family melodrama of the singing animatronic bears, then you're in luck. Otherwise, this is just a painful disaster that could not possibly be more ill-advised or ill-conceived.

I surely cannot be alone in the notion that The Country Bears is one of the most abominable creations in the history of cinema. It is weak, rambling, incoherent, unfunny, irritating, tedious and just plain stupid. With no shortage of bizarrely and ridiculously out-of-place moments, watching The Country Bears is a harrowing experience. A worthless and shameful film, it seems as though Disney has tried to hush this disgrace up as much as they could; I, unfortunately, stumbled upon it anyway at the recommendation of a supposed friend.Based on a theme park ride, The Country Bears tells the story of a fictional band of anthropomorphic bears who have not only gained the ability to interact with humans, but also to play country music at an adept level, and do so without any question from the human race. This concept alone is awfully flimsy, but one would assume a company as experienced as Disney would be able to pull it off for a family film.They couldn't.After a nauseating montage of bears playing god-awful country music, the audience (already molested on a cinematic level) is subjected to a dinner table scene that rivals that of Eraserhead on the defecate-yourself-in-fright-o-meter. Beary Barrington (a bear, just in case you hadn't guessed) decides to confront his human parents about the nature of his upbringing, as he is beginning to feel left out. It turns out that Beary is on to something, because although his parents deny anything fishy, stating that they will always love him no matter what, Beary's human brother Dex reveals to him that he is adopted. Enraged at this utterly shocking revelation, Beary leaves home and embarks on the trip of a lifetime.Because he is the number one fan of the Country Bears, Beary heads to Country Bear Hall, the primary concert hall for the band before they split up. It is there that Beary learns from the property caretaker and the Country Bears' manager (who both happen to be at Country Bear Hall at the precise moment Beary arrives) that there are plans to demolish the building. Overseeing this act of pure evil is unhinged banker Reed Thimple – played by Christopher Walken.To raise money for Country Bear Hall, Beary Barrington's IQ boosts itself by several hundred points and Beary suggests getting the band back together to do one final gig. Henry, the band's manager, seems to think this is a good idea and thus begins the odyssey of torturous ursine antics.Imagine the first half of the 2011 Muppet film, except devoid of any wit whatsoever. The movie takes a standard road-trip story, and whilst trying and failing miserably to be a biting satire of country bands, throws in poorly thought-out (and equally as poorly executed) sequences of slapstick violence, turgid musical performances, and pseudo-Spielbergian familiarity, all to create a haemorrhage-inducing nightmare.After a painfully irrelevant musical act in a restaurant, the band of bears discover they are wanted by the police for supposedly "kidnapping" Beary Barrington. Cue a police chase that would give Bullitt a run for its money, which features the policemen being sucked out of the patrol car into a car wash and subjected to the horrors of automobile cleaning, resulting in a side-splitting gag involving the policemen's disheveled hair.At the wedding, the bears find Ted, but he refuses to play the last Country Bears gig (for reasons undisclosed). Instead of actually coming up with an intelligent way to resolve this problem, screenwriter Mark Perez settles the matter with one of the bears punching Ted in the face (knocking him out) and dragging him onto the bus against his will. When Ted regains consciousness, it's not touched on again.Soon the Country Bears are fighting amongst each other about whether or not they are in fact a family (not in blood, but in bond). Beary Barrington somehow comes to the conclusion that the humans that raised him are his real family (totally irrespective of the fact that he is a bear), and thus he returns to his home to reunite with his human parents and brother. After finding and reading a piece of fan-mail from Beary, telling the Country Bears how much they meant to him, Ted visits Beary and apologises, seeing the error of his ways.The film builds to a stunning climax as Christopher Walken kidnaps and threatens to kill the other Country Bears. It is at this point where the film dishes out a twist that would make even M. Night Shayamalan writhe with shock. I shan't spoil it for you, but I will say that Christopher Walken's character is a lot more layered than we were led to believe, and Mr Walken really gets to show off his acting chops.Sarcasm aside, all the problems are resolved more or less peacefully (or not resolved at all), and the film finishes with not one, but TWO terrible songs from the Country Bears in their last gig. Beary Barrington even gets to perform with his idols, despite having no practice with them (or anyone else, for that matter). It makes no sense for the bears to be able to play musical instruments anyway – they don't have the thumbs for it.The atrocious pacing and the vacuously prosaic music don't help this dire trainwreck of a movie, but it's the pathetic excuse for a screenplay that really turns this film to trash. The only thing redeemable about this film is Christopher Walken, but even his performance is only enjoyable from an ironic angle. The Country Bears is an insult to music, an insult to cinema, and an insult to the minds of children. I'm ashamed for the human race that this film has seen the light of day, and I hope that maybe we can learn from this heinous mistake so that the future may be a brighter place to live.

Regardless of its faults, I found this to be a fun movie. The music was not necessarily my taste, but it was all well-done.There was a silly plot, and human characters that, with a few exceptions were too moronic to care about. The idiot cops, though, were a lot of fun and I particularly liked Chill Mitchell in what had to be one of his last roles without a wheelchair. Queen Latifah gave a brief but enjoyable performance as a bartender who may have also run the place; too bad she didn't sing too.The actors giving voice to the bears were better than most of the people playing people. True, most of the writing was still silly. Haley Joel Osment did a good job considering the material.I don't really care for Bonnie Raitt or Don Henley as singers, but I realized immediately what was going on when a male bear and female bear sang together and then they showed those two famous people together. The joke about The Eagles was great; I do like some of their music.I didn't recognize Elton John, but someone commented that he looked like Elton John. It turned out to be true, and one of his songs was used too.Jennifer Paige did a good job as a singing waitress and a silly scene reminiscent of "Glee". Not my taste musically, but it was well done. Brian Setzer cam closer to what I like in a duel with Zeb. Ordinarily I don't like rock and roll but I'll make an exception for Brian Setzer.And of course the bears themselves are quite talented. Not quite country, but a lot of what's on so-called country radio isn't. Some of the music was "real country", though.And I really did care about whether the Country Bear Hall would be saved. It's a nice building, in the sense of being historic.I don't recall any offensive content, if you don't mind one use of the F-word or the sound. I do mean the F-word that kids use, not the other one.It's a silly but fun movie.

The Country Bears is a truly unique movie, and it can be a very pleasant experience watching it, for those with an open mind. The entire movie is based on the premise that bears co-exist with humans - they are simply like another race of people. From numerous other reviews I have read of this movie, it seems many people are offended by this simple premise. Perhaps it is insulting to them, or maybe they just can't deal with things out of the ordinary such as this. It's definitely a shame, as this movie is actually a rare gem, complete with lovable characters, fun music, and an engaging and heartwarming plot.The movie begins showing us the farewell performance of a group called "The Country Bears". They were once apparently very famous, but have now all but disappeared. Beary Barrington, a huge fan, feeling displaced from his family because he feels 'different', leaves home and travels to Country Bear Hall, hoping to find a place where he fits in. He soon finds Country Bear Hall is soon to be demolished, due to six years of missed payments by it's caretaker, Henry. Beary's solution is to get the band back together to save Country Bear Hall.What follows is an enjoyable romp as we meet each of the 4 unique band members and their interesting circumstances. Fred is big softy who works as a security guard, and takes part in a performance of a very modern song titled "The Kid in You", which perhaps may not appeal to everyone. Zeb is ultimately an alcoholic, although his liquor of choice is honey. To escape from his debt with the bar, he performs in a musical duel, which is a lot of fun. Next we meet Tennessee, who is heartbroken over losing his one love Trixie. He just makes you want to give him a huge hug every time he's on screen. Finally we meet Ted, who's massive ego nearly stops the bears from coming together again. Two bumbling cops provide lots of humour, as does the hilarious bear character Big Al.Characters are definitely the highlight of this film. Each of the bears are different, and watching their behaviour is so refreshing. They make you want to be right there on the tour bus with them. The ending of the movie is perfect, but it is a strangely sad feeling to have to leave the characters and come back to reality.My thoughts of this movie are the complete opposite to the majority of other reviews out there. Ebert's review suggests to me that he barely even paid any attention to the movie - he doesn't seem to understand why Reed Thimple would want to destroy Country Bear Hall, even though it was clearly explained in the movie. He also says that certain artists such as Bonnie Raitt talk about how The Country Bears influenced them, and while this is true for some artists, Bonnie Raitt does no such thing, nor does Elton John. Why critics couldn't appreciate this film is beyond me. It has strong messages of what family is, and that it's OK to be different. It's just fantastic, and deserves much more recognition than it has. We need more movies like this, but unfortunately the poor reception of this movie will mean Disney avoids making movies like this in the future.Do yourself a favour; rent this movie, or even buy it. Don't question why it's about singing bears, otherwise you're missing the point of the movie. Just enjoy the originality, enjoy the great music, laugh at the comedy, and leave the movie with a shining feeling that not many movies these days can give you.