Just what I expected

In truth, there is barely enough story here to make a film.

When a movie has you begging for it to end not even half way through it's pure crap. We've all seen this movie and this characters millions of times, nothing new in it. Don't waste your time.

The acting is good, and the firecracker script has some excellent ideas.

"Yep, I'd say in a pretty town like this, outlaw bikers outta stand out like a Great Danes balls".Snake Eater 3: His Law is the third and unfortunately the last entry of the Snake Eater series - it is however, very easily, the best of the three. It's lean and mean and peppered with humor. It's Lorenzo Lamas pitted against an ongoing assortment of: bar room thugs, "wild-eyed greaseballs", quarrelsome n' incompetent coppers, crooked businessmen and gun-wielding outlaw bikers. And well, sparks fly..... especially at the end.The general plot of the movie revolves around an elderly couples daughter, who's kidnapped by a gang of bikers and over time is turned into a vegetable, through forced drug-use and rough and wild gangbang action. The hero of this terrific direct-to-video classic (Lorenzo Lamas) is hired by the parents to track down and kill the bikers and that's exactly what happens and it's a blast to watch. Several blasts actually.The casting is great in this movie, especially (former WWF wrestling star) Scott "Bam Bam" Bigelow (RIP) in the role of "Goose" - he was MADE FOR THE ROLE and damn does he play it perfectly; he's great in all his scenes and has one of cinema's best/funniest death scenes. What's that you say "funniest" how could a death scene be funny? Watch it and see, because there's "More than one way to cook a Goose".Plenty of shoot-out's, a great bar fight, a strip club pop-in, antique shop visits, hotels afire and of course plenty of T & A. To my way of thinking B-Movies don't get much better than this. This lovely little nugget of action, intrigue and romance was released back in 92', which is probably the best era ever for action movies. I'd say only "Stone Cold" (1991) is better than this, (you can't beat Lance Henriksen as Chains!) if you were comparing biker movies. "Modern" biker movies that is.The movie culminates when an orgy of guns n' grenades erupts at "The Clubhouse", which is the secluded hangout of the biker gang known as the "Hell's Fury". Their hangout is an awesomely convincing and well worn looking dive of a place, the interior is real grubby and loaded with all kinds of miscellaneous biker schwag. Talk about perfect set construction (and eventual destruction). Kind of a shame to see it explode at the end.This movie stands tall in the category of violent biker movie's, a real shame this was the last of the Snake Eater series, but at least it went out with a bang. Lorenzo Lamas should have kept cranking these out every 2 to 3 years, these "taking out the trash" movies are a blast. Oh and by the way, the first two films of the series, they just aren't very good, especially the second one. It's puzzling when some misguided fool claims otherwise, it's almost as if they haven't seen all three films. If memory serves me correct, the first scenes in the first movie, looks as if it were filmed by a high school AV club, with hand-me-down equipment. Bad.......anyway if you want to see an exciting biker movie, sit down and watch - Snake Eater III: His Law. Somehow when I watch this movie it never fails to elevate my mood, I guess that's the sign of a good movie.Take note of Bam Bam Bigelow's spot-on performance, probably the best performance of it's kind, well, again, except for Chains.

Solider Kelly is back. First he took on backwoods hillbillies and then it was drug pushers, but now its punk bikers he's waging war against. You know what else is there to do, when you constantly get put on suspension. The third entry was a vast improvement over the stupidly poor original, although I've to yet to watch the first sequel. That's not saying that this one isn't any less silly, because it has its bases cover. However it tends to be better-made, merciless and playing up its tongue-in-cheek vibe. Lorenzo Lamas in the title role is looking even more comfortable, balancing the martial arts and with rapid-fire wisecracks. Like the hilariously bad-ass opening café robbery sequence, which sees Solider being suspended for the methods he used to do his job. It wasn't by the book, but justice was served… his way "It's up to them if they wanna die". Because of this he gets the attention of some parents, who offer him a job to take revenge on a gang of outlaw bikers called Hell's Furies that kidnapped their daughter months ago where they treated her like a piece of meat. She was constantly raped and drugged, which left her in a vegetable state. So without the law on his side, he seeks help from a Private investigator / former biker friend Cowboy in tracking down this biker gang.Low-crack, but enjoyably macho, pumped-up and over-the-top exploitative b-grade action joint that's economically directed. Where I found it hard not to like. There's a reckless formula to it all, as it has snake eater written all over it. Bar room brawls, smart-ass jibs, profane dialogues, beer sculling, low-brow sleaze, pulpy violence, unfathomable actions, exaggerated villains and you got it… elaborate booby traps. Everything about has a sense of humour to it. The funny thing is, after ridding the earth of these bikers. The girl is magically cured. No more scars and giving herself to any nearby male ("don't you wanna f**k me?")… She's sane. Only if things could be that easy. The performances are spot on. Minor Mustain stolidly wry turn suited his Cowboy character and made for good chemistry. Tracy Cook plays soldier's love interest. Then for the bikers is man-made-mountain wrestler Scott "Bam Bam" Bigelow and a mean Chris Benson as the leader of the pack. Also appearing is Walker Boone as Soldier's police Ltd."Who the hell is Hulk Hogan?"

If you've seen any of the "Snake Eater" trilogy, you would know the following. The stories are based, well stolen, from many others. The first is an odd mix of "Miami Vice" and "Deliverance" (?)...the second is "Lethal Weapon", or any cop vs. drug world story, mixed with "The Three Stooges" and "Laurel and Hardy" (??)...and the third is pretty much every vigilante cop movie-only totally messed up. You would also know that it seems every line in these movies either makes absolutely no sense, is horribly acted, or is just plain hokey. Finally, every scene is directed with such an unmistakable ineptitude that it creates a disorientingly bizarre environment you will never forget.This time, Mr. Eater (who has a needless other name, Solider, as well as his real name Jack Kelley) is suspended, for the millionth time, for handling a stick up in the deranged, overly violent fashion he is known for. He is hired by a family to protect their inexplicably (and unnecessarily) sex-crazed daughter...one who pulls down her skirt on first meeting with Soldier AKA Snake Eater AKA Jack Kelley. The story has no set direction and meanders into a biker gang subplot. Of course, you'll find nothing but laughs here. Everything about this movie is laughable, including Lorenzo Lamas' signature destitute, blank performance. Eater's wingman this time is, wouldn't you know it, a deranged vigilante. The only difference between the two is that the wingman is an aged cowboy who is slightly more sociopathic in his unjustified killings. Its funny how every destructive thing Soldier accomplishes is completely not noble. He's not even an anti-hero, he's in a category all his own: psychopath wanna be anti-hero. It makes one wonder if the filmmakers and actors were trying to create something so awful that it is intentionally comical. I highly doubt it, but its a thought.

Well Soldier Kelly is out and back working as a detective (we have to use our imagination to figure out how)for the first 10 minutes at least. Then of course he is on suspension again and working with an ex-biker PI to bring justice to a raped college student. He gets in the most unbelievable situations but always seems to make you believe them. This time he has a real love interest and she broadens the character nicely. Like us she falls for his line every time but circumstances are beginning to make her question her ability to stay involved with him. Great martial arts scenes(one where he is out matched)and the tongue in cheek humor these movies are noted for. There is only one problem with this movie.Sadly, it was the last.